


Late Night Closet Spaghetti

by TheseusInTheMaze



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Age Play, Blow Job, Coming In Pants, Embarrassment, M/M, Middle Play, Spanking, over the knee spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-17 01:58:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14823050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Ryan finds a wooden spoon in Shane's closet.





	Late Night Closet Spaghetti

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fringewrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fringewrites/gifts).



> Happy birthday, friend!

Ryan hadn’t expected to find the spoon in Shane’s closet. 

… then again, it was Shane’s closet, and there was some weird shit in it, but… a wooden spoon?

“Hey,” said Ryan, poking his head out and grabbing the spoon, “what’s up with this?”

Ryan was expecting a neutral answer - _”Oh, that’s where that was,”_ or maybe a joke about how he was planning on making late night spaghetti, with his secret closet stove.

That was a very Shane thing.

But no.

Shane grabbed the spoon, sputtered something unintelligible, and then he was off like a particularly long legged bat out of hell.

“... that was weird,” Ryan said to the empty room.

Maybe it was a kink thing?

Although Shane was usually pretty straightforward about the weird shit he liked.

Did he have some kind of… shame kink?

Huh.

Shane came back into the bedroom a few minutes later, his face still red. 

“So,” Shane said, and his voice cracked, “did you find what you were looking for?”

“Yeah, I found the shirt I left here months ago,” said Ryan.

Shane didn’t seem to be interested in what Ryan was saying - he kept blushing, glancing this way and that, avoiding eye contact. 

There was something more to this.

Ryan would poke it, at some point in the near future. 

He wasn’t one to let things just… wait. 

Let alone something that was obviously making Shane this cagey.

* * *

“So,” said Ryan, a few days later, when they were the only ones in the office, “make any good late night closet spaghetti?”

Shane took his headphones off, and he looked at Ryan, one eyebrow up.

“... what?”

“Late night closet spaghetti,” said Ryan. “Since you had that big ol’ wooden spoon in your closet.”

“... oh,” said Shane, and he was… blushing again.

No witty comeback, no snark, no nothing.

Just sitting there, his cheeks turning red.

_Shit_. 

Ryan had stepped in it, hadn’t he?

Oh god.

“Forget I said anything,” Ryan said quickly. “Sorry.”

“No,” said Shane, after almost a full minute of silence. “No, it’s, uh… it’s fine.”

“If something’s bothering you -”

“I’ve got some shame issues,” Shane said, interrupting Ryan. “I mean, it’s, uh, I know it’s hard to imagine _me_ being embarrassed about anything, but I’ve got some… hangups.” 

“Everyone has hang ups,” said Ryan. “I think that’s just part of living in, you know, society.”

“Well, yeah,” said Shane, and he leaned back in his chair, so far that the chair creaked. “But… you know, I try to come off as not having any.”

“So you’ve got a hang up about having a hang up in the first place?”

“I didn’t say it made sense,” said Shane, making a face. 

“Do you have, like, a kink or something that you’re embarrassed about?”

Shane was turning red around the ears.

“I don’t know if it counts as a… you know, a kink,” said Shane. 

“Why?”

“Because I’ve been obsessing about it since I was a kid,” said Shane.

“Isn’t that usually how kinks work?”

“Well, not really. Usually they’re, like, you know, you try something, you like it, you… go from there.”

They’d done kinky stuff together - Shane had worn a skirt and makeup, given Ryan a blowjob that covered Ryan’s dick in lipstick. Ryan had tied up Shane, then ridden Shane practically into the next dimension.

But that had all been on a lark. 

They’d made jokes throughout, even if it had been really hot.

But now… huh.

“I… might have a bit of a spanking… obsession.”

“Spanking? Really?”

“I know, it’s weird,” Shane said, making a vague hand motion.

“Not… really, no,” said Ryan. “I thought you’d be interested in something a lot weirder.”

“How is this not weird? I’ve… I’ve gone to a few, like… spanking events, and it was just a bunch of weirdos.”

“Did it occur to you that you just had bad luck?”

Shane shrugged.

He looked uncomfortable. 

“I know it’s… weird, to be a grown ass man obsessed with spanking.”

“I don’t think you’re obsessed,” said Ryan. “We’ve been together how long, and you’ve never even brought it up?”

“Every time I look at your butt I think about spanking it,” said Shne. “Or… when you’re fucking me, I always want to ask you to spank me.”

“What, really?”

“Yep.”

Shane looked… resigned, like he was expecting something unpleasant. 

“That’s your big secret.”

“Yep. I bought the spoon on impulse, because my girlfriend swatted me with it once, and I was too embarrassed to actually admit that I was actually… into it.”

“So it’s just been sitting your closet like that?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want me to spank you?”

Shane stared at Ryan, wild eyed.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope,” said Ryan. “I’ll spank you. I’ll… turn your ass red, if you want.”

Shane… froze.

Full on froze.

He looked like a statue of a grasshopper, caught in the eyes of some other predator. 

“Shane?”

“Ryan,” said Shane, and his voice actually… cracked, “Ryan, if you say that again I might just cum in my pants.”

“What, if I tell you that I’ll spank you ‘til your ass is bright red?” 

Shane moaned.

“Did you cum in your pants? Did you… did you cream your jeans like a teenager?”

Where was this even _coming_ from?

“I’m not a teenager,” Shane said, and he was blushing, and he was licking his lips.

“No?”

“I… I think I like how it sounds when you talk to me like that,” Shane said. 

… okay.

So Shane had a thing for age play.

That might actually explain a few things, come to think of it.

“You like being treated like a horny teenager, about to cream your jeans?”

And Shane was… shifting in place, was shoving a hand between his legs and grinding against his hand. 

“Maybe I’ll spank you for it,” Ryan said. “Maybe I’ll spank you for being a brat and for making a mess. Is that what you want?”

And Shane came.

A full body orgasm, his back arching, his hips jerking against his hand - his toes were probably curling in those ridiculous big shoes of his.

And then he was flopping back, boneless, and he was sweating, his hair sticking to his face. 

“Whoa,” said Shane, and he sounded slightly shell shocked.

“You okay?”

“I haven’t done that in a long time,” Shane said, and he was blushing. 

“No?”

“Not since I was a teenager,” said Shane. “Fuck, I must look pathetic.”

“Not really, no,” said Ryan. “I think you mainly just look like you’ve got a kink.”

“I dunno what the kink _is_ ,” said Shane.

“Um. Age play?”

“Isn’t that, like, diapers and stuff?”

“There are other ages,” said Ryan. “It stands to reason it wouldn’t just be diapers.”

“Right,” said Shane. “Of course. Why didn’t I think of that?”

It was hard to tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

“So you could be a different age than just, you know, super young.”

“Y’think?”

“Sure,” said Ryan.

“I mean,” said Shane, and he shifted positions, then made a face. “Oh my god, I just got cold jizz down my balls.”

“That’s what you mean?”

“No,” said Shane, “I was going to say something thoughtful about how it’s probably a reflection of my own adolescent views of my own sexuality or something like that, but the there was _cold jizz down my balls_.”

Ryan snickered.

“That’s your own fault, you know,” said Ryan. 

Shane made a dismissive gesture, then made a face.

“Do you have another pair of underwear stashed away or something, so you can change? We could go get food….”

“I don’t keep a change of underwear around here, it’s not like I’m a preschooler or something.”

“No, judging by how hard you creamed your jeans, I’d say you’d be closer to middle school, personally,” Ryan said.

And Shane flushed so hard that Ryan was faintly worried he would pass out. 

Then he gave Ryan the finger.

It wasn’t as...eloquent as Shane usually was, but it got the message across.

Ryan grinned.

“You wanna just go home?”

“Yeah,” said Shane, and he sighed. “Sorry, this is kind of… overwhelming.”

“Right,” said Ryan. “Of course. Sorry if I was a bit… pushy.”

“It’s fine,” said Shane, and he made a vague dismissive hand gesture. “It was hot.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” said Ryan. “As long as, uh, you’re okay with it.”

Shane gave another thumbs up, then stood up, and made a face.

It had been a long time since Ryan had actually cum in his own pants, but he could remember a bit of what that was like.

He made a vaguely sympathetic noise. 

He still snickered, although his cock twitched, just a bit, when he saw the wet spot on Shane’s crotch. 

Hmm.

* * *

They went on location.

They went on location, and Shane… Shane was a brat.

There wasn’t any other way to describe it, really - he huffed, he rolled his eyes, he slouched, he snarked. 

“Are you putting on some new act for the camera or something?”

“I dunno what you’re talking about,” said Shane. “I just think all of this is kind of bullshit.” 

“Well, yeah, but we have to put on a good show for the viewers. So quit acting like a teenager stuck at a family reunion.”

Shane… blushed again, but he nodded.

“You’re right,” he told Ryan, and his cheeks were red. “I’m sorry. I’m just bored of talking to empty rooms.”

“Well, it can’t all be riveting,” said Ryan. 

“Right, right,” said Shane.

“You want to… embrace your inner sullen tenth grader, maybe just wait ‘til we’re back in LA.”

“Right,” said Shane. “Okay. Got it. Sorry.”

It was downright _weird_ to see Shane being so cooperative.

Not that Ryan was going to complain too hard. 

* * *

They finished the shoot.

They went home.

And Shane… suggested something.

Something unexpected. 

… well, not wholly unexpected. 

* * *

Ryan knocked on Shane’s front door, his heart beating very fast in his ears.

Why was he so anxious?

And then Shane opened the door, and Ryan burst out laughing.

Shane was wearing baggy jeans.

Actual baggy, slouchy jeans.

He was wearing a flannel long sleeve shirt over his usual t-shirt, his sleeves rolled up, and he looked… well, he looked like he was drowning in fabric.

“What?”

“Nothing,” said Ryan, and he was trying not to snicker.

Shane… looked ridiculous.

“Did I overdo it?”

“Little bit,” said Ryan. 

“Dude,” said Shane, and he looked genuinely distressed, “ _we dress like teenagers._ ”

“I mean,” said Ryan, “not really. We don’t dress like teenagers did when we were teenagers.”

“Well, no,” said Shane, “but we dress like teeangers dress today.”

Ryan shrugged.

“We’ve got jobs that teenagers would dream of,” said Ryan. 

“Right,” Shane said, his voice flat. “Because when I was sixteen, I knew that my dream was to sleep in empty houses that smelled like rat hair.”

“How do you know what rat hair smells like?”

“I have my suspicions.”

“So… you didn’t want to invite me over while your parents were out?”

Ryan was, admittedly, changing the subject so fast that they were probably suffering from conversational whiplash, but still. 

Shane froze, and he blushed.

“I, uh… no, I wanted to invite you.”

“Yeah? So why are you showing so much attitude?”

“Because I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t showing attitude,” Shane fired back.

“Well, fair, but it’s kind of tiresome sometimes,” said Ryan.

“What are you gonna do, spank me?”

Shane’s voice was almost… too casual when he said the word “spank,” like he was trying to show how nonchalant he was about it.

Ryan smirked.

“I just might,” he told Shane.

Shane flushed. 

* * *

They sat on the couch, and they watched a bad horror movie.

It really was a bad one - the kind of gorefest from the early two thousands with a lot of screaming, tits, and blood.

And at some point, Shane’s arm was around Ryan’s shoulders, and then Shane’s hand was on Ryan’s knee, and then….

They made out on the couch.

“Are you sure that your parents aren’t coming home?”

Ryan kept his voice quiet.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” said Shane. “Why?”

“I could… I could get in trouble,” Ryan said, and he kept a little bit of a wobble in his voice.

“Don’t worry about it,” said Shane, and he was pressing closer, leaning in.

And he was kissing Ryan, kissing Ryan like it was the end of the world, and Ryan was sucking on Shane’s tongue, was sliding his fingers through Shane’s hair, which was practically crunchy with gel, which… was a little bit gross, but still…. 

Ryan moaned, and then he slapped Shane’s hand away, as Shane tried so slide a hand up his shirt.

“Dude,” Ryan said, “slow down.”

“C’mon,” Shane said, and he was whining, “you want it, I can tell you want it. Please?”

“Just because I’m… you know, worked up, it doesn’t mean I “want it,” or whatever that means,” said Ryan. 

“Please?”

“If you keep whining at me, I’m going to punish you,” said Ryan, and he knew it sounded dumb and porny, but fuck it.

Shane blushed all the way to his ears. 

“Like you could manage,” said Shane. 

“You know I could,” said Ryan. 

“Come at me,” said Shane. 

Ryan snorted, and he grabbed Shane by the ear. 

Shane made an indignant noise. 

“You’re being a brat,” said Ryan, and he could actually _see_ Shane rolling his eyes which was very much not fair, because they’d talked about this!

Fucking… Shane.

Ryan stood up, awkwardly, and he was just… dragging Shane by the ear, pulling Shane into the bedroom. 

“I’ll tell your parents,” said Ryan, in a burst of ad libbing.

“... what?”

“I’ll tell your parents that you’re a brat,” said Ryan.

“You’ll tell me parents, who shouldn’t know that you and I are together in the first place, that I’m being too handsy when we’re doing stuff together?”

“... shut up, Shane,” said Ryan. 

He shoved Shane onto the bed - Shane was flat on his belly, draped over the bed like a discarded pair of jeans.

And he went into the closet.

“Failure to plan this role play scenario as extensively as it apparently needed to be planned is not a problem on my end.”

“Which end would that be?”

Ryan held up the spoon.

It was the same spoon. 

Ryan blushed to his ears, and he shifted.

He was grinding his hips awkwardly into the edge of the bed.

“You were saying?”

“I wasn’t saying anything,” Shane said, and his voice cracked.

“You’re lying, you know,” said Ryan, and he slapped the spoon against his hand.

It stung.

Wow.

That was an intense spoon.

But he was going to do it.

Okay.

“I’m not,” said Shane.

“You are,” said Ryan, and he came up behind Shane.

Shane made to get up, and Ryan rolled his eyes, sitting on the bed and pulling Shane over his lap.

… well, “pulling” Shane over his lap.

Shane had to cooperate, obviously, and Shane was… very much cooperating, if balanced a bit precariously.

“You’re a brat,” Ryan told Shane, and he grabbed Shane’s ass through the jeans.

Shane ground back against it, and he was grinding his erection against Ryan’s thigh.

“Oh,” Shane said, his voice thick.

“That’s all you have to say for yourself? Oh?”

“... no, I’ve got… I’ve got other stuff,” Shane said, but he was downright… ruffled.

Who knew that Shane could get ruffled?

“You’ve got?”

Ryan was rubbing little circles on Shane’s ass, over the jeans.

“I….”

“Are you going to apologize?”

“Fuck you.”

And Ryan landed the first spank.

It was a fairly light hit, but Shane still shuddered.

Ryan gave him another one, and Shane wriggled.

“No,” said Ryan, “stay still.”

He held one of Shane’s arms back, his hand around Shane’s skinny wrist, and his fingers could actually… meet.

The sleeve of Shane’s flannel shirt were sliding back up Shane’s forearms, and Ryan gave Shane another spank.

Shane was shaking.

“Hey,” Ryan said, and he lowered his voice, made it a little sweeter. “You okay?”

“Please don’t stop,” Shane said in a monotone.

“You sure? You don’t sound that interested….”

Ryan kept his hand rubbing along Shane’s ass. 

“Ryan,” Shane said.

He sounded like he was on the edge of his rope.

“You having trouble giving up that disaffected youth thing?”

“Ryan,” Shane said, then; “please?”

And Ryan broke.

How could he not?

He brought his hand down on Shane’s ass, hard, and he began to just… spank him.

… Ryan might have watched a few videos, to figure out technique. 

He was hitting Shane through the denim, and Shane was making surprised noises, little exclamations that made him jerk forward and squirm. 

Ryan let go of Shane’s arm, and pressed his face into the bed, both of his hands behind his head now, buried in his hair. 

“I’m gonna use the spoon now,” said Ryan, when his hand had practically gone numb.

“W-what?”

Shane came out of his stupor - at least, a little bit. 

“The spoon,” said Ryan. “I can’t feel my palm.”

“Oh,” said Shane. “Would you say that’s a sign that it’s done?”

More of the snotty teen.

Ryan gave him a particularly hard hit, and Shane jerked forward. 

“You wanna try that again?”

“I think I’ve been… punished enough,” said Shane. 

“Do you really?”

Shane’s voice was wobbling - he sounded on the verge of tears, which was… unexpected. 

“... no,” Shane said, his voice quiet.

“What was that?”

“I… I said no,” said Shane. 

“No, what?”

“No… no, I don’t think I’ve been punished enough.”

“So we’re in agreement, then,” said Ryan, and he was trying not to smirk, as he grabbed the spoon.

It practically had _heft_ it was that sturdy.

He brought it down on Shane’s ass, and Shane howled.

Full on howled, like some kind of wild man in an old movie.

“Do you want me to keep doing that?”

Shane nodded, and he was clearly blushing - Ryan could see the back of Shane’s neck turning red. 

So Ryan kept spanking Shane with the spoon, right over his lap, as Shane shuddered and sobbed, squirming on top of Ryan, his bony knees digging into Ryan’s thigh.

He was full on humping at Ryan’s lap now, but Ryan didn’t care.

Heat was coming off of Shane’s ass, even through the denim, and Shane was sobbing, his face inis arms, his whole body on edge, like a guitar string.

And then, between one hit and another… Shane came.

He came in his pants, in his jeans, and he shuddered, his hips jerking forward, and Ryan spanked him through it, until Shane was shaking his head.

“Ryan,” Shane said, his voice rough, “red. Enough. Please.”

Ryan put down the spoon, and he leaned down to kiss the back of Shane’s head. 

“You okay?”

Ryan tried not to let his own anxiety creep into his voice.

“I’ll be okay,” Shane said, his voice rough. “I’m… wow.”

“You creamed your jeans again.”

“Shut up, Ryan.”

“I thought you were done with the teenage attitude bullshit.”

“This isn’t teenage attitude bullshit,” said Shane, and he rolled over, wincing when his no doubt tender ass came into contact with Ryan’s thighs. “This is just me telling you to shut up.”

“How are you?”

“I’m good,” Shane said, and his expression was dreamy. “Want me to suck you off?”

“Only if you feel up to it,” said Ryan. 

Shane didn’t say anything… he slid onto the floor, kneeling there, his heels digging into his sore ass, and he opened up Ryan’s pants.

He swallowed Ryan’s cock down before Ryan even had a chance to react, and he proceeded to give the sloppiest, wettest blowjob that Ryan had ever experienced. 

Ryan came down Shane’s throat in a gush of cum and desperation, and then he leaned down to kiss Shane, right on the mouth.

“Fuck,” Shane said, and his voice cracked. “Wow.”

“So, did it live up to your fantasy?”

“ _Oh yeah._ ”

“And no more late night closet spaghetti?”

“... what?”

**Author's Note:**

> Like this fic?
> 
> Want me to write you something like it, or something completely different?
> 
> Come talk to me on my tumblr, theseusinthemaze.tumblr.com!


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